Characteristics of Long-Lasting Friendships That Keep
1. Steadfast support. My friends support me when I am
down, when I am lost, when I struggle, and also when I
succeed. You can call the friends you keep for help and
they expect nothing in return.
2. You celebrate each other’s successes. The friends
you keep unselfishly celebrate your successes. They
are equally excited or even more thrilled about your
triumphs than you are. You are not jealous of each
3. You can laugh at any situation no matter how tragic,
frustrating or confusing. Recently, I went to be with my
dear friend who had just lost her husband in a tragic
accident. I told her, “Don’t worry, you will not be alone.
I will marry you!” She exhaled a deep belly laugh and we
had a much needed laugh together amidst the sadness.
4. The bond never dies. Physical distance prevents me
from seeing many friends on a regular basis. Months or
years can pass, but when we see each other, it is like
no time has passed at all.
5. You clear space with each other when needed. You
are honest with each other. If something hurts you or
bothers you, you have the courage to clear that away
with one another, and create new space for your
friendship to flourish.
6. You let go of some friendships. Just like romantic
relationships, friendships can become stagnant or
unhealthy too. Or, you can simply grow-apart. You
have the courage to “break-up” with this friend. Or if
the relationship naturally fizzles, you release yourself
from feeling guilty about it. You accept that you can’t
keep every friend that you have ever had. And letting go
of friends that you have had throughout your lifetime,
gives way to a greater capacity to keep your current
and future friendships.
7. You forgive. You forgive when your friend doesn’t
have the capacity to ask for forgiveness.
8. Boundaries. Every relationship needs boundaries to
flourish. If your friend is going through a difficult time
that triggers something painful for you, you still support
them. You just tell them that you have to support them
with some distance.
9. You drop everything and just show-up when you
need each other. A friend calls you crying over a
breakup or getting laid off at work, you drop your plans
that night, and have a girl’s night in instead. A tragedy
happens and you just simply show-up with your
physical and/or emotional presence. You don’t just text
or email, you pick up the phone and call. You show-up
for them in-person when you can.
10. The friends you keep form friendships with the
other friends you keep. My favorite place that this
happens is at weddings. I have gone to weddings solo,
shared a room with the bride’s friends, and we have
become immediate and fast friends.