One of the basic aspect about the science of parenting, is communication. Its indeed a big deal because most parents think they are communicating.
For children, words are not just tools for communications, they are for an experience. Lets take an example, telling a child NO, DON’T, STOP.
Children are not adults, they can’t process why you’re saying NO, DON’T, STOP.
I perfectly understand most of us parents use such words, with good intentions, well, that’s why we are here to channel our intentions properly.
Such words(NO, STOP, DONT et al) activates the the brain regions of the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal posterior insula, which interprets it as rejection or indifference. Even as adults, not everyone can handle ‘NO’.
Don’t forget, children don’t THINK (the way you do), they FEEL. So, whats the way out? Improve your parenting diction. Instead of using NO, when your child makes a request, share the effect of that request.
Instead of a ‘NO’, ask the child WHY do you want this/that? It doesn’t matter the age of the child, the essence is to help them develop their prefrontal cortex,(part of the brain responsible for critical reasoning)
Instead of using DON’T do that, or STOP that play etc, divert his/her energy through a different task. As much as possible, use less of NO, STOP and DON’T.
It will help build a childs self-esteem, help them communicate effectively and most importantly create a bond of trust between you and your child.
Let me stop here for today, feel free to share and rebroadcast with friends. Am committed to raising effective parents.
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Your friend and brother,