Couples should bear it in mind that having problems with
sxuality or erction does not mean that you or your partner
is physiologically or psychologically abnormal in any way. A
man shouldn’t allow his self-esteem and sx-esteem to
suffer. The moment this is allowed, the case becomes
Rather, it is better to abstain from intrcourse altogether for
a period of time and married couples should instead engage
more in cuddling and nonsxual touches. Gradually, over a
period of weeks or months, depending on the couple, the
partners would have worked toward a more relaxing
atmosphere and then intrcourse will naturally follow. This
idea is to make sx a less-threatening experience and to
overcome the anxiety grip.
Couples can even add some spice to the love-making by
going to a different setting. They can change the routine by
trying out new positions.
Stress arising either from performance anxiety or from
other life situations can worsen sxual disorder and erectile
dysfunction. Regardless of the cause, it’s difficult to enjoy
oneself when one has too much on his mind. Try relaxation
exercises such as deep breathing or progressive muscle
relaxation, where you consciously tense and relax each part
of the body in sequence.
Feel free to express your feelings. Marital difficulties are
notorious contributors to sxual problems. Anger,
resentment and hurt feelings often spill into a couple’s sx
life, turning the bedroom into a battlefield. This situation is
likely to develop if partners don’t communicate. Share your
feelings with your spouse. This festive period is the best
time to really relax because it is full of fun.
Use “I” statements, and keep the focus on your feelings,
instead of your partner’s actions. Doing a thorough
housecleaning of the relationship may very well clear the
way for a healthier sxual union instead of storing up
Don’t drink before sx. Drinking alcohol or being drunk can
significantly impair your sxual functioning. Try once in a
while to recapture your previous successful experiences. If
performance anxiety has undermined your confidence,
thinking about positive sxual relationships or experiences
you have had in the past may help boost your self-esteem.
It may also convince you that you can have a fulfilling sx
life in the future. Involve your partner. Although erctile
difficulties originate with the man while sxual disorders
originate both from man and woman, these challenges are
a married couple’s problem and can be sorted out by the
If the problem is not medical, there are many home
Have a positive mind-set. Just as you are so optimistic
about every other life issue, believe that sxual disorder
and erctile dysfunction can be completely resolved. For
many of these sxual challenges, a few minutes visit to the
hospital and basic medical routine check-up may detect
some underlying causes. When they are treated, these
‘gigantic’ challenges easily become issues of the past.
Eating up to 100g on a regular basis of some of our
common natural foods is highly beneficial in healing
various forms of sxual disorder especially in females and
also increases libido and sxual power in men.
Some of the foods are Alfalfa sprouts, pistachios, almonds,
dried dates, walnuts, local popcorn, quince seeds, salmon,
garlic, wheat, black gram, honey, boiled egg, ginger, nuts
and white onions. Some of them are well packaged in
capsule forms and are available. If you need some of them,
you can give me a call.
Natural therapies, like full body massages with olive oil to
the base of the penis, lateral sides of the pubic area of the
woman and hot baths done with coconut oil regularly are
home remedies that have done wonders.
Besides this, couple can adopt cooling method remedy. This
is best achieved during foreplay. When you caress your wife
and she fondles your pnis with good lubricant, soon you
will notice that you will reach the point where you will be
forced to tell her, “Wait…I am close to ejculating, but I
don’t want to ejculate until I’m inside you. So stop fondling
me for a few minutes, I need to cool.”
But during those minutes, you will continue to caress her,
concentrate more on her oranges and down below [you can
even suck them] while she lets go of your pnis for few
minutes until you say, “okay, fondle me again,” and soon
after that you will tell her, “wait … I need to cool again.”
Repeat this ‘fondle-cool’ many times. [That is before you
enter her, she fondles your pnis, but she doesn’t make you
ejculate.] Then you enter her. Because she fondled you
before entry many times, this will help train you to the
extent that when you eventually enter her, you will not
ejculate too soon.
Do not worry if you have little success the first time you try
the ‘fondle-cool home remedy. It may take weeks. Just
remember, before you enter your wife, let her fondle your
pnis for a long time, but without making you ejculate.
After some weeks, you will find that this is helping you to
slow down after you finally enter her. It will also help you to
make her climax.
Another home remedy is the PC muscle exercise or Kegel
exercise. This is helpful because it is very natural and can
be done anywhere anytime and as many times as possible.
Kegel exercise is all about squeezing the PC each time you
pass urine. Why urine? Because the PC controls the bladder
and the urethra of the man, it even spreads to the prostrate
and the pelvic wall. All you need to do is make sure you
drink a cup of water every hour. This helps you to visit the
bathroom and as soon as you want to urinate, just make
sure you are not bringing out the urine at once. Divide the
urine into three and as soon as you push out the first part,
stop and squeeze. Repeating this over and over strengthens
the PC cord and invariably reduces the rush of the sperm
leading to quick ejaculation during thrusting in and out.
The masters and Johnson squeeze remedy is also one of
several techniques men can use to develop the ability to
control ejculation and exercise weak pnis. Ask your wife
to caress you to point of arousal. As soon as you get a full
erction (not before orgasm – just when you get a full
erection), she should stop and put her two index fingers
under the base of the cap of your pnis. The thumb must be
placed over the frenulum, which is the elastic band of the
pnis; it connects the foreskin to the penis.
She should then squeeze it hard for about four seconds
(she needs to squeeze quite hard), you may even lose
between 10 and 30 per cent of your erction because of the
squeezing. This is completely normal. Your partner should
wait for 15-30 seconds after releasing the squeeze before
starting to stimulate your pnis again. As soon as you re-
gain a full erction, the squeeze technique can again be
done. This pattern can be repeated 4-5 times in the first
time. When you have done this a few times, it gradually
firms the tissues of the pnis.
– and with all these you will get the best s*x ever this
holiday period. Enjoy!
BY FUNMI AKINGBADE