A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women, especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention my wife and family early in the conversation. I have found this advice to be very useful on many occasions.
Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and strong. I want my marriage to be strong and healthy, and so should you! In fact, it’s one of the biggest responsibilities in your marriage.
So let’s dig deeper into this subject. Where are some common places that you might run into this scenario? For many of you, it could easily happen at work. You could be starting a new job and find yourself around a lot of nice, new women. When this happens, you have to make the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way by mentioning your beautiful wife and family.
For some of you, you have been working around the same women for some time. You might have chosen many times to engage in flirty conversation or to go out with co-workers after work. If this is you and your wife is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your position as the husband and leader. Take the necessary steps to make your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t forget it. Lead, gentlemen, lead!
Even though those were only a couple of quick examples, I know there are a few of you out there who need to step up your role as a husband. Those examples don’t apply to you? Then consider who you know and talk to at your gym, the grocery store, the local hangout or wherever. These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Man up and do what needs to be done for your marriage!
Now that I have your attention, here are five things every married man should do around single women:
- Keep your ring on. There are very few exceptions for when that ring needs to be off, like when operating heavy machinery, swimming in shark-infested waters and the like. If you are about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider if you need it on or not, leave! Run! Get away from there! Seriously, get out of that situation; your vows, marriage, children and more depend on those important decisions. (Read Luke 16:10.)
Hang up pictures of your wife at work. A married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple of great and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his office or place of work. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: It will remind you why you love her so much, and it will make for a great conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it. Update the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your relationship is continuing to grow. Get that picture up this week and extinguish those flames. (Read Psalm 119:37.)
Keep eye contact simple and short. Don’t read this the wrong way; I’m not saying to be rude. I’m saying to be careful where your eyes travel and how long they travel when you are in the presence of an attractive single woman. You know that once you engage in the first serious look, you have signed the dotted line for more eye trouble. (Read more about that “first look” here.) Keep it short, keep it decisive, and move on. Get back to that image posted at your desk. Go! (Read Matthew 5:28.)
Keep conversation general and professional. If you work around single women, there is no question that conversation will come up. It’s up to you on how you decide to speak with her. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional, or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn’t. Be polite but very intentional in your conversations. If needed, again, always be ready to bring up something about your wife or family. Pull the pin, aim, and extinguish. Safety first. (Read Romans 6:13.)
Talk about your wife and family often. Did I mention anything about talking about your wife in conversation yet? I believe I did, but this last point brings the idea to a firm home. The single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no match to your wife and family. Your family should be your first priority wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day. Yes, each and every day. Keep it short, keep it simple, and mention your beautiful wife. Now pat yourself on the back and keep it up. (Read Ephesians 5:25-33.)
Important note: No matter what you have done with your current relationships with single women, these steps can and should be started at anytime. Your wife’s feelings are and will always be more important than the woman you need to take these steps with. Get on it!
I challenge you to take these bold steps for you, your marriage and your family. Again, it’s your responsibility to lead!