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Ways to deal with a competitive friend

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Among your group of girl friends, do you have
someone who always tries to compare her life
to yours, shows off her accomplishments
when you talk about yours or feels jealous
when you are praised in front of her?
If yes, you might be hanging out with a
competitive friend. While it is best to stay
away from such a person, if you’ve known
her for long and want to keep your friendship
intact, here are ways you can deal with a
competitive friend.

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  1. Understand: For most people, the need to
    be competitive stems from a certain sense of
    insecurity. The fear of not being good enough
    leads them to bad behaviour, which includes
    bragging to make themselves feel more
    valuable. Try and get to know from your
    peers if she is feeling insecure about
    something.
  2. Praise your friend:If the need to be
    competitive stems from her insecurity, let
    your friend know that she is deeply valued
    and that you love her. Shower praises on her,
    even if it means complimenting a dress she is
    wearing or showing interest in her new
    haircut.
  3. Ignore her behaviour:If you get upset by
    your friend’s competitive nature, try and
    ignore it. Just because your friend sees herself
    as better than you doesn’t make it true.
    Though this isn’t easy, you have to commit to
    not caring about what she says and loving her
    with all her flaws.
  4. Avoid trigger situations:To keep a healthy
    friendship intact, you know you shouldn’t
    play the game. Competing with your own
    friends will only create problems. Don’t go for
    information that can start a competition or
    create jealousy like how much you weigh or
    what your pay package is. Be careful of these
    trigger topics and if you feel your
    conversation is moving in that direction,
    change the subject.
  5. Have a heart-to-heart talk:Honest
    communication is the best way to sort out
    problems. Tell your friend that her
    competitive nature is doing more harm than
    good. However, make sure you don’t get into
    a fight as that would only make matters
    worse. Make a point to reassure your friend
    that she has great qualities and that’s why
    you love her. You could say this: “I know you
    care about me, but when I tell you about
    something good in my life, I feel like you’re
    not listening, because you jump in with
    something about you. It would be nice if we
    could both be happy with each other’s
    accomplishments.”
  6. Diversify your friend circle:Establishing
    non-competitive friendships is important.
    While interacting with some overly
    competitive people is difficult, it is possible to
    make friends who are competitive yet
    supportive. You need to be friends with
    people who are in a similar place in life so
    they don’t feel the need to compete, but who
    you can also relate to.

Source: Radar

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