I’m a firm believer you can’t have a
meaningful relationship with someone until
you’ve had one with yourself. And you can’t
possibly have one with yourself if you’re
always dating someone else.
That’s why when you see people who are
single, you shouldn’t think of them as alone,
but as if they are in an intense and
meaningful relationship with themselves.
All this talk of “soulmates” and “perfect
partners” is romantic and fun, but quite
frankly, it’s bullsht. How can you possibly
know who your soulmate is if you don’t
even know your own soul?
People who jump from relationship to
relationship aren’t lucky; they’re delusional.
Women who always have boyfriends and
men who fall in love with every girl they
pass on the street aren’t on their way to
settling down with The One anytime soon —
they’re only refusing to acknowledge they
don’t even know what The One looks like.
What Hallmark doesn’t validate, and no one
seems to be talking about, is the one
relationship that matters before the “perfect
Unlike high school and college romances,
it’s a relationship vital to your maturation —
one you’ll look back on and thank God you
went through, even if it wasn’t the
storybook romance you’d always dreamed
Anyone who’s been single for a while knows
it’s a lot like running. It starts off painful,
but after enough time, you catch a second
wind and believe you run forever.
The endorphins kick in, and you have no
desire to stop anytime soon. You’re wrapped
up in yourself and your mission, feeling free
and effortlessly moving through life.
Those feelings — those are the most
important ones you’ll ever have. Not the
euphoric moments wrapped in someone’s
Those feelings don’t last; they break, fade
and leave. And what happens then? You’re
left with just yourself.
If you don’t absolutely fcking love the
person you’re left with, then you’re truly
alone. You’re not ready for a real
relationship until you’ve reached one with
Spending time alone doesn’t scare you; it
Everyone has to be alone sometimes.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not,
when you spend weekends or nights alone
in your apartment, the idea shouldn’t terrify
you. Instead, it should open you up to an
exciting world of possibilities.
You’re excited, not dreading, the time you
have to explore all the passions and hobbies
you picked up from learning about yourself.
You’re not looking for someone as a passion,
but for someone to understand yours.
You know who you are; you know what
you’re looking for. The men or women you
date will have a certain specificity to them
because you’ve defined yourself specifically.
You have your passions, desires and dreams
and only a certain type of person will
understand and help you nourish them. You
know what type of people you do and don’t
get along with because you know yourself.
You’re not looking for someone to complete you,
but complement you.
You complete yourself. You know who you
are and what makes you happy. You find
your happiness in your love for yourself, not
You know your soulmate will add to your
life, but won’t ever make your life. You
found your purpose long ago and no one
can ever take that away from you or replace
You’re completely and absolutely in love
with the only person who matters and your
soulmate will just complement that love.
Yours goals are for yourself, not about someone
Loving yourself means having real goals, not
just relationship ones. Your relationship
with yourself is enough and the only thing
you’re working toward is the kind of work
to fulfill and sustain you for the rest of your
Unlike the relationships so many strive for,
you’ve found a relationship within yourself
and are working toward something to
complete you in another way.
A person will never be your world because
you’ve already created your own.
If you know how to have a relationship with
yourself, you’ll never experience the loss
others feel when the love they gave to
someone else is thrown in their face.
When you go through an inevitable
breakup, you won’t feel like your entire
world has crashed. You had a world before
them and will have it after, too.
You already know who you are, so you aren’t
trying to be someone else.
Most relationships aren’t real because the
people in them aren’t. Too many men and
women refuse to take the time to get to
know themselves and instead just become
copies of people they think they need to be.
They pick up personalities and personas,
usually realizing too late they don’t even like
the people they’re pretending to be.
When you’ve spent enough time alone, you
know who you are and who you’ll never be.
You’re free to enter a relationship without
the danger of losing yourself.
– Lauren Martin/EliteDaily